I Woke Up Crying


I woke up crying deeply early this morning because of a dream I thought was true. A dream full of realization that it’s not the end of everything and it’s a dream that tells me that someone also greatly needs my love and affection from afar longing for my presence.

My dream was all about my mother. My dream told me that we haven’t seen each other for a long time. So, when I went back home in our hometown, I directly find my mother from my younger sister. My younger sister then brought me in a certain school with no explanations and I hesitate not also to ask questions but wondering on my own self why in school.  As we got there, my sister pointed out a classroom and so I went on. I stared first on the window observing the class inside. I smiled when I saw special persons or differently able and persons who’s minds or thinking are out of this world. Surprisingly, I saw my mother inside the classroom waving and smiling at me and proudly raises up a piece of drawing (just picture out a usual drawing of a prep child). I waved backed and asked my mother, “Are you a teacher now?!”… she smiled and didn’t answered me. My sister then comes closer to me and tapped my shoulder and I saw a single tear in her eye seem to fall as she was controlling her emotions. As I look back to my mother, I have read a statement in her shirt. That time, I never thought and realized that my mother was one of them… attending a class with psychiatric problems. I was crying in deep pain and can’t accept the fact that she has this psychological problem. And lastly, my sister pointed out a cell phone my mother always held. She said to me that my mother is always waiting a text or a call from me. And again, I can’t stop crying… and crying… and crying.. Then, I woke up from this dream with tears in my eyes…

Yes, I know for a fact that my mother suffered much of her life- suffered for herself, for the family and for the people who always accused her for doing something isn’t right. As a product of a broken family, It really hurts when you see your mother suffered the most. That is why my dream is telling me that it’s a realization of everything specially now that I only text nor call my mother only once I remember her and will just see each other maybe three times a year. I did miss her and told her that I love her so much but I know it’s not enough. Well, it’s a very long story to tell my mother’s story as she lived in misery and suffered much.

Now, I thanked God that from this dream, I realized everything and value the things in my life. I learned a great lesson from this realization. “Try to value your time for your family as you value most of your friends…”